Divorce is so hard on kids!

If you have children and split up from their father, for whatever reason, he is NOT going to be out of your life you might be thinking, "good riddance to him/her" but he's never going to actually be out of your life unless he dies or becomes a real dead-beat dad. Both of which would be awful for your children to have to live with.

Another thing that is awful for your children, is you hanging on to that feeling of hating having to see or speak to him. Every time you feel or think one of those, your kids feel it! They are so much more aware of feelings than most parents of divorce give them credit for. You know, the times when you talk about him on the telephone to your best friend when your kids are in another room and when he picks up your son/daughter and you give him that look of hatred, your children pick up on both!

Getting a divorce with children is probably one of the toughest decisions or experiences you will ever go through because of the kids. And yet, so many parents who work with me assume that the kids are fine. How can that be? Really, any parent who comes to more help in coping with, maneuvering through or getting over a divorce - - how can they assume that they need help but their kids are just fine?!? I'm so often baffled by this logic or lack of it.

The majority of children of divorce that I have worked with, in the past twenty or more years now, are not doing so well when I first meet them. So many of them were never even told the parents were splitting up in advance. One day, one of their parents was moving out... period. Others were told by one parent and all the blame was put on the other. Some kids just woke up and mommy or daddy was gone; no one warned them. There are so many variations and stories of how the children found out, but all in all, you're still left with thousands upon thousands of kids living through their parents' separation and divorce.

Parents sometimes tell me they're concerned for their child. S/he really doesn't like going to see the other parent cause s/he isn't a good parent; s/he doesn't spend enough time with them, just takes them to McDonalds and buys them expensive toys instead of paying me my child support and alimentary pension, etc. etc. Here's the usual - I say something like, "why don't you bring him/her in to talk with me so we can see how s/he is doing and help them with whatever help they need?" Suddenly, eight times out of ten, that very child is doing fine and doesn't need to come in.

So, here's what I did. I put together a workbook for the school-aged children of divorce to fill out on their own or with one of their parents so everyone can find out just how well s/he really is. You no longer need to hope in secret that s/he will survive or cope with your divorce because, for whatever reason, you don't want to get an outsider involved.

Just imagine how your child's life might change, right now, if you knew you could easily learn how to have those serious conversations with your child to help them thrive despite your divorce...

Please, go now to http://www.divorcesupportplus.ca and download my FREE 50+ page workbook for school-aged children of divorce. It's so simple. Download it. Print the pages you want your child to fill out or do the same sort of exercise with them on a blank sheet of paper if you want to save on your ink. Just see to it that your child is okay... and if not, get them the preventive help they need now instead of leaving them to suffer for years and then be told they need serious intervention later.

It's your choice if your child does well with your divorce. Get the help you need and give the help s/he needs, and I'm a simple email or phone call away, and please consider that I am a simple phone call or email away, wishing the very best for you and your whole family in this time of transition. Family reconstruction is not easy, but we can prevent it from being family destruction!