Imagine a new law banning divorce? How many divorced couples do you know that would be affected by such a ban? Is it really possible to force people to stay together? Well, it just might be law in the future, in California anyways.
An article recently posted in the Los Angeles Times says that, "California Secretary of State Debra Bowen... authorized the backer of an initiative that would ban divorce to begin getting signatures to put the proposed constitutional amendment before voters."
Wow! I have believed for many years that the majority of divorced did not actually have to take place IF ONLY the couple had received appropriate help in enriching their relationship.
Most of the couples that I have worked with, over the past ten years, have been arguing about the same issues and hurts for years - but, if we as a society became more proactive and preventive, rather than interventionists who wait for problems to become extreme or extremely damaging, my belief is that at least 75% of marriages would be dramatically improved and thereby saved.
When couples who have been together for forty plus years are asked how they have managed that almost miraculous feat according to today's divorce statistics, not a single one of them, to my knowledge, has ever said that they never had an argument or fight. In fact, most admit (or try to teach!) that they not only experienced problems and disagreements, but had bad years.
So, would a ban on divorces with an added clause that says, 'WITHOUT spending a minimum of four to six months working with a relationship coach' prevent divorces? You bet! But, just putting a ban on divorces without that clarification or stipulation does not make any sense to me as the solution to the problem. Because the problem is not just that one partner no longer feels in love with the other and wants a divorce - 'why' the relationship is so unfulfilling and unhappy is what needs to be dealt with and changed to a desire by both partners to want to stay together - differently, happily, cohesively, respectfully, and maturely IF THEY HAVE CHILDREN TOGETHER!
That's my opinion. Please feel free to comment on mine and/or post your own view.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
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